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Porch Paint… DENIED!!!!!

OF COURSE the day I actually get my craziness together enough to paint the porch…

It rains cats & dogs.

So we had to put the whole project off for a day until things clear up and the wood dries. Fortunately, the forecast calls for sunny skies ahead. At least until Tuesday. (Remember “‘Til Tuesday”? Hush, hush… voices carry.” Totally rad.)

So to keep ourselves focused, we hit one of our favorite stores ever. It’s a privately owned hardware store & kicks all kinds of butt. SUCH a nicer shopping experience than the big box. (A necessary evil sometimes.)

In keeping with the porch makeover theme, we looked at some mailboxes…

We want to upgrade from our existing mailbox:

to something timeless with more volume and… flair, I guess is the best word.

Description of perfect mailbox = description of perfect hairdo. Who knew?

We like these:

But at $190 each…

it ain’t gonna happen.

We briefly thought about going with one of these bad boyz:

The price was certainly right, but because I’m SO not gonna buy/dig in/cement in a post for it, I would be forced to sacrifice my favorite work bench (ie: Newel post) to hold it…


and that was simply out of the question.

Plus, a wall-mount mailbox will be easy to switch in/out.

Rental House Rule #10: Easy swappability is key. Look for things that will work with the structural elements you already have. Remember; when you move out, you’ll have to “undo” it all.

This style is along the lines of what we’re looking for:

But is a little too precious for our tastes. Besides, everybody around here has this mailbox. And at $120, I am wont to explain why. They’re nice, but $120 nice? I dunno.

So we peeped the plain-ole’ version, thinking we could personalize it with a nice stencil or something:

Imagine our surprise when we lifted the thin, tin, unadorned, clanky, pointy lid to find:

 Umm… exsqueeze me? Baking powder? $70 for that?!? Are they high? Do we need to call Bellevue? SEVENTY DOLLARS? Can I get a “Hell No!”????  Thank you!                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Moving on.                                                                                                  Stylistically, this is more or less what we want:

But again, less mainstream-looking.                                                                                                             I really like the idea of hooks on the bottom. We don’t get a daily paper anymore (Bad journalist!) but we do receive a ton of freakin’ junk fliers and catalogs. I swear, I unsubscribe to everything, and they still be sweatin’ my jock. Playa h8ters.

So, having found only disappointment and mild confusion (We live in the city…)

in the mailbox aisle, we moseyed on over to the address plaque display.

Frankly, we don’t plan to buy our new plaque. We’d rather DIY it. But it was fun to explore the possibilities 🙂

This stylish pewter number is FAR too classy for us.

But isn’t it pretty?

This is more our style. Simple, classic clean. Oh wait. That’s not us. That’s the alternate-universe us…

In reality, THIS is more us:

I don’t know exactly what it would read, but believe you me, there would be much smart-assery involved.

This also has the potential for great hilarity:

And I was quite taken with the idea of spelling out some kind of crazy sh*t with these:


If you got that second one, you MUST friend me on Facebook.

All in all, it was fun to fantasize, but really, we’re excited to DIY something. These are so not in our budget, anyway. (I didn’t even bother to look — our budget being roughly $8.)

And as for mailboxes, well, the point is moot anyhow because I just bought a supercalifragilistically awesome one on eBay. For $35. Free shipping. THAT’S what I’m talkin’ about! Chicka-chicka-yeah.

I’m gonna hold out until I get it in the mail to post pics, because frankly, the listing pics were awful. I’m taking a bit of a leap of faith on what it will look like in person, but the seller had great approval ratings, etc. and responded to my email question within minutes, so I have high hopes.

It’s going to need a new coat of paint for sure, but the shape is “a suave combination of the masculine and the feminine… suitable for the most discerning postal recipients.”

OK. It’s just a tin box. But still… pretty stoked!!!



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